This is an archive of Ilkka Kokkarinen's web content, deleted
in response to university pressure, copied from Google's cache. (Yeah, some of the
pages' internal links won't work as a result; if I'm incredibly bored, I
may fix that.)
My justification for my actions (and a space for comments) is at this LiveJournal
entry.
Full archive as a ZIP file.
Danimal archive:
Sixteen Volts archive:
First two apologies
Final main page
September 2006:
August 2006:
- The happiest place on Earth
- All the way to Santa Monica
- Lucky Ilkka
- First we take Manhattan
- Dog gone funny
- The truth about cats and dogs
- Only the lonely
- Thank you, come again
- Or else
- One more reason for progressives to hate Wal-Mart
- And now, a word from our betters
- The rhinoceros in our living room
- A-mop-bop-a-loo-bop
- Losers downstairs
- Always challenge all your assumptions
- The mediums are the messagi
- Your love is teaching me how to kneel
- When I grow up, I want to be a car!
- As they say, all generalizations are wrong
- The man in the high castle
- Spider Ilkkasalem and the scum of the land
- Let me entertain you
- You never can tell
- I am the mighty bull, damn yeah
- Full faith and credit
- Beautiful strong girls and grumpy gangster boys
- Let the pepperoni be all one half
- Turn the rainbow into a Jackson Pollock painting
- Falling out
- Two for the money
- If you see it once you'll never be the same again
- Viva Las Vegas, part 3: Devil daycare
- Viva Las Vegas, part 2: Gonna set my soles on fire
- Viva Las Vegas, part 1: Get those steaks up high
- Whoever dwells in the past, poke a stick in his eye
- The lamentations of their women
- About the Middle East, Congo and European misunderstandings
- It's a no-brainer
- Maybe they'll fix these problems in Vista
- Up and at them
- I heard the news today, oh boy
- The party of proud boylovers
- An afternoon of poetry with Rev. Ilkkamöller
- Drop in, tune out
July 2006:
- One thousand and one nights with Ilkkarazade
- Perhaps you won't even twitch
- Now we shall take off, aim the Russkie between the eyes...
- The era of profit
- There are two types of men in this world...
- Asked out more than Joyce Brothers
- Blinking on the tipping point of Ilkkanomics
- Blue eyes, almost like a human's
- Opportunities and their costs
- Win, draw, lose, turn pennies into millions
- Got to move these colour TV's
- Bang for the buck
- And we'll have ourselves a little mixer
- So if you care to find me, look to the western sky
- Walk down the right back alley in Sin City, and you can find anything
- Spayed and neutered
- Ten years for buggery
- The religion of women
- Wash away all their debts in blood
- Saturday night cantilever
- Something to be attacked
- Women and minorities hardest hit
- What if the fetus is a potential zombie?
- The fruits of matriarchy
- It is so very clear and rational to anybody who is not an oppressor
- Starts to whistle as he crosses the street
- Sporty spice
- Actually, it's a peninsula
- Just one shell and governments lose their nerve
- In the long tail, we are all read
- Papa don't preach
- Some people are marching together, some on their own
- Things we should of known
- The mange, the grunge, the itch, the twitch, the thrush, the scroff, the rot
- The song that goes like this
- And the whole world shall be our oyster
- There was a line, there was a formula
- You just keep watching Freddie
- Could stupidity taxes be said to be Pigovian?
- The debate both here and next door
- Conservatism, smart and stupid
- The rich always eat first
- Interest only
- Sheer bedlam
- Keep him off the cart because he's not yet dead
- System scan has revealed that you need a registry cleaner. Install?
- It's the fastest way to send money
- Those beautiful boys and their delicate little holes
- You just learn something new every day
- No man, no problem
- But... but... there is no agreed-upon definition of intelligence!
- White men and officers all of them
- The people, united, will never be defeated
- The men of steel, the men of power, are losing control by the hour
- Guest post: What is wrong with feminism?
- Taking umbrage
- Selective outrage
- Asparagus boys
- Look, it's Rodney Dangerfield fixing the pipes all by himself
June 2006:
- Inbred Jed
- Dancing through life
- One meatsack speaks
- Eliminate men and women will shape up
- The very poorest share their God with their neighbors
- Garbage goblins
- Your eyes are so beautiful, I love you very much
- I'm gonna take you to the bank. To the blood bank!
- Oh, don't be so docudramatic
- Will it be us... or them?
- She had style, she had flair, she was there
- Xtreme Ops
- Look at me, I am a Lew Rockwell paleolibertarian
- I'm no Superman
- Without words, without silence
- Make that extra pineapple, please
- Our vibrant communities
- Dancing around the flower pole
- Just like in Coupling
- The mellow bombthrower
- Know how to please me
- Let's starve it of oxygen
- The mystic knowledge of the ancients, and some other fictions and factions
- Made in China
- Watch out for pretty rocks
- Uuno is number one
- Fahrenheit 451
- The mightiest mental machines
- The love that dared not speak its name
- Ikky the lyricist
- Give me a gold medal for my idea
- Die Kühe
- Human seraphim
- Housekeeping
- Everything you think do and say, is in the pill you took today
- In the animal kingdom, the math does you!
- Time to update that Gilbert and Sullivan songbook
- Because somebody should
- Too cheap to meter
- Machines who screw
- Vice city
- Ooh, baby, give it to me
- The praxis of the streets
- For he is not a potted plant
- Those wooden radars, so very inefficient in scanning
- The war liberals
- Law of the jungle
- Huh hah hey, and the tail is wagging
- Yeah, yeah, but which programming language is the best?
- Puny men fight well with their words!
- How's this an idea for a sitcom: Luke and Lance, two gay Jewish guys in New York
- Res ipsa loquitur
- Still pumped up from blogging
- Ignore the market reality at your own peril
- Let's take the red pill all together
- Time to update the sidebar
- Hook me up a new revolution, cause this one is a lie
- Fong! Gong! Self-made!
- I'm on a wavelength far from home
- Dead man's gold
- You just know when you love someone
- Only chaotic evil characters can enter the Lava Level
- Wired or tired?
- Lester Piggot, meet Georgie Best
- One sex rations nookie, the other rations commitment
- I guess somebody forgot the rules of Project Mayhem
- A little bit of mail fraud
- Trading in my jeans for the tracksuit pants
- Bedpans and broomsticks
- I observed it, and its sociological significance intrigued me
- I'm dreaming of a world without fences
- One of these things is not like the others, one of these things does not belong
- Sometimes I feel like the city is sucking away at my soul
- Good servant but a bad master
May 2006:
- But that's just what he says!
- Freaks and geeks
- He who knows the minds of all
- Nihilism-o-matic
- Red moon rising
- Lean and mean
- Cooling down
- And that's the way the torta crumbles
- Summer is here, Charlie Brown
- I am from beyond!
- There will be plenty of apples in the vending machine
- It's all in the eyes
- Those darn nativists
- Demons and angels all in one have arrived
- We should grow some rabbits
- And they beg you for more
- My child only drinks Coke
- Lawyers without borders
- Digg in deeper
- I love this moment so much, I want to have sex with it
- So young, you need a word of protection
- Those magnificent men in their flying machines
- To sauna at five, to jail at six
- Educated black man
- Rock'n'roll and other fascisms
- The fudge factors
- Programmed by God
- Just use Concrete instead
- Oh, you crumbums
- A black fly in your Chardonnay
- Can't tolerate this
- For he is a discriminating gentleman
- The F word
- Pip pip, sir
- For I have truly seen the face of evil
- I got the poison, I got the remedy
- I'm feeling smrtr
- It would be as dark as the world before Columbus
- Why we fight
- It's a lot more fun with Phil Decker
- Back to the reading corner
- We have forgotten passion, signifying nothing
- Okay. Now, where's Happymart?
- People respond to incentives
- Not that different after all
- Some usability nits that grind my gears
- If you want peace, prepare for war
- Out for some gabagool
- { |x| x(x) }
- Oh, those boys and their toys
- She bootylicious
- Allow four to six weeks for delivery
- These men truly made this country great
- Life is a bunch of things that just happen
- Fungineers, assemble
- Static variables
- My car, on the way to this big party
- Slower than a gun
- Ten meters long and reeks of old booze and ciggies
April 2006:
March 2006:
- Ilkka's eye for the straight gal
- Everything you have heard is wrong
- Elsass Lothringen
- You ain't got nothing on me
- The great white whale
- I have lived in the monster
- Domine, quo vadis?
- Earth or Pupulon?
- Anarchy in UK
- I'd like to report a crime in progress
- Elsa the lion
- Strawberries and cream
- Guys and dolls
- But aren't we all brothers?
- Good thing we didn't become zombies
- Loyal subjects and disloyal objects
- Simulating thoughts
- From far and wide
- Or else
- But it's so unfair!
- Oi, bookworm!
- Nothing in life makes sense except in the light of The Danimal
- Jerry! Jerry!
- Red versus blue
- No hidden catch, no strings attached, just free love
- Every added story takes us closer to objective reality!
- I know I can't be free
- Money can't buy me love
- Up and down
- Pump up and kick ass with Ilkka
- A new universe
- Two for me, none for you
- Grandpa has a magic lap
- It is so very clear and rational to anybody who is not an oppressor
- First pause
- V for Vapid
- I'm dreaming of a green Christmas
- Of butterflies and men
- There's a bird in a tree sitting up high
- But at least everybody is special
- Where I patronize the arts
- Ceuta, Melilla and the avoidance of responsibility
- Lots of words in a sequence
- Knights and knaves
- My body, my choice
- Look at me, I am so moral
- What You See Is Total Crap
- Poster boy
- A few one-paragraph thoughts
- Eggs Ackley strikes again
- Riding the dinosaurs to church
- It even smells like a street
- Encountering the Other
- And the big wheel keep on turning
- Flipping
- Elsewhere, it's always Friday
- Scooby Doo, where are you?
- Friends and false friends
- Red and white all over
- Spearheading the tipping point
- Victory
- Mommy's chick, daddy's...
- I before E except after Ö
- An important message for Generation X
- It's hard out there for a chimp
- Fill your quota, comrade
- The bonfire of charities
- And they all play on the golf course
- And besides, it doesn't always correlate
- But please don't say "weeaboo"
- Hey, let's refer to the band in this song as "we"
- Wild boys always shine
- It's alive
- That is what I'd truly like to be
- Red carpet, red hammer
- The lady's spaying
- Do you think these are opinions you are reading?
- When you wish upon a star
- Power laws and laws of power
- Do as you are told, dog
- Everybody is special
- Modal schmodal
- No day but today
- Almost anything goes
- I am Tony Soprano, I make you a nice-a pizza
- Simplicity itself
- Funny because it's true
February 2006:
- TV party tonight
- Don't mess with the missionary man
- What dating is really about
- Dis-se-mi-na-ting know-led-ge
- To cut a long story short
- Advice for youth
- A million little pieces of chocolate
- Naughty or nice?
- Working hard, or hardly working
- On the nature of writing
- The real reason why moral dilemmas are popular
- Bridging the two cultures
- Totalitarian blues
- Blink and you might just miss it
- Each story takes us closer to God!
- The propeller beanie kingdom
- Like rats in the night
- Paying the reaper
- Don't be afraid to ask, comrade
- Watch out Spidey, or the Magnetoid will get you!
- The Finimal, part 2
- Listening to the colors of the wind
- Testify, brother
- There are two things we take seriously here
- The iron bars of reality
- They won't wait, they won't rest, they attack continuously
- Everything old is new again
- Caveat pumptor
- Triumph of the whim
- Drink specials at Winners
- But that's just what you say
- And one for the "Big Fat Carnival"
- That's not jewelry she's talking about
- Where everybody is above average
- Black / White
- Kiss kiss gang bang
- Checks and balances
- Do you mow your lawn with a lawnmower, or with prayer?
- Shall be the only law
- Sticking together
- Flies on the ceiling
- Ooh, chocolate half off
- Another movie pitch
- Scream, Blacula, scream
- A proposal for a future Carnival of Godless
- Contingent facts of history
- Alternatives until none exist
- Expect more from Sears
- Singularity, here we come
- Amateur night at the Starbucks
- Icky fat pigs
- Why are you swimming in my wading pool?
- Ilkka Pepys
- See how death comes to the wise as to the foolish
- Who? Whom?
- The very essence
- I'll hire half of the workers to kill the other half
- Proper modesty
- Put another nickel in
- Testify strongly, brother
- Teach the children well
- Mom, is "fellatio" a bad word?
- Smartypants
- Orientation day
- Nihilism-O-Matic
- In a good shape
- A little something from abroad
- The great debate
- Homo ludens
- Pure rubidium
- How to blaspheme
- XFL! XFL!
- Let the punishment fit the thoughtcrime
- The giggle loop
- You have come a long way, baby
- Some elementary marital economics
- You can't argue with the bottom line
- One potato, two potato
- Two minor economic puzzles
- Closed captioned
- I'm very sorry, Mrs. Chomsky, but we have to abort the pregnancy
- Let's twist again
- Tales of the hackneyed demagogue
- Men, those vile beasts and animals
- Great moments in advertising
January 2006:
- A pitch for a reality show
- To fish and sip wine
- Step 2: be a moron
- The objective reality was nice and warm today
- Further rhetorical follies of feminism
- Some rhetorical follies of feminism
- Curiosity killed the cat
- Look at me, I'm so edgy
- Higher learning
- Where I sit and stand
- TV party tonight
- I'm melting, I'm melting
- Drinking the blood of the people
- On personal financial responsibility
- An ode to locks
- Look at me, I'm Napoleon
- Me, my, mine
- The fairer sex strikes again
- Bring me the little children
- I would do anything for $100
- Moustache power to the people
- Sheroes who really make a difference
- Housing and its costs
- Proposal for a drug policy
- The master of time
- The consumption party goes on
- Bring in the clowns
- All that money should belong to me
- Cocooning in the land of a million lakes
- Almost like the Jetsons
- Another contrarian thought
- A movie pitch
- Similibus moronus mordorum
- The tenth black sweater
- Killing one is like killing all of humankind
- A movie contrarian moment
- Paying the Rent
- The n-word
- The bright digital future
- Time to sow, time to reap
- A few linguistic thoughts for the Saturday evening
- Rage against the machine
- Unions and intersections
- So what if polygamy?
- I can walk to Turkmenistan
- Take me to your leader
- Full of black goodness
- But it doesn't always correlate
- Silver screen magic
- A few ponderings of a religious nature
- The genes of tomorrow
- If they die, no loss
- You may already be a winner
- Square holes and round pegs
- Beyond the beyond
- Uncaused causes
- Don't let the ugly flowers bloom
- A few observations about diversity
- A small cure for a big social wrong
- Back to basics
- Just one, officer
- A man and his tool
- Gleaming the cube
- All things just keep getting better
- We're meddlesome
- Watch out, American, the jungle has a million eyes
- Commandments and meta-commandments
- Can we fix it? Yes, we can!
- Two girls for every boy
- Against everything bad, and for everything good
- My suggestion for an immigration reform
- And you do it too!
- So that we may learn
- Mutatis mutandis
- L. Ron Quantum
- There but for the grace of God
- The kingdom of nerds
- Shopping for a better life
December 2005: