Words of mine

Castle in the Sky

I知 trying to reach something, something I can only assume to be a great castle in the sky. I知 lucky; my predecessors have left a path for me to follow. On the brick path of their accomplishments I trek, reaching high for something out of sight. Alas, they致e only brought me so far and it seems a vast emptiness lies between my goal and me. I値l not reach it; but I値l spend my life to lay even one brick on this highway creeping slowly towards the heavens. To muster even the slightest bit of mortar seems a daunting task. Should I fail, I値l offer the mass of my flesh and lay my tired body down so my children can build the road atop me; trying themselves to reach that great castle in the sky. QED

Why does it matter? 埜hat were you doing? How do you feel? You ask, I answer with out lies But somehow your never satisfied I see a vast plane of existence. I want to exist everywhere, but my domain is limited, I can稚 be extended. Stuck in some compact space, not able to conceive the greatness that lies beyond QED

Desperately clinging to an idea

Writing mathematics is nearly impossible. Notations are misleading, limiting, confusing. One needs to feel the math with their heart and soul. Look beyond the notation, that痴 when you have it. QED

I can see through silhouettes
Layers upon layers, gazing through time
These waves, reaching my eyes from the vast unknown
The resolution is too coarse
If only they hadn稚 been beaten, broken, and split apart
Small pieces to a universal puzzle
Simultaneously I gaze into your story, and with you I tell my own
Yours is that of mine QED

My world of knowledge I can see the world, but not alone As reflections through the eyes of my peers, family, friends, colleagues, heroes, and lovers I look from all angles A vast network of information, a multidimensional universe of ideas, thoughts, emotions, and interactions We all learn from each other the exchange of information And in my world of knowledge I知 building a structure, an intricate web If the sum of all mathematical knowledge were to fit in a cube, we (humanity) would have a nice small marble of red, with relative density, filling a small volume of the cube I see the various subjects of math branching out of this center in different directions. There are those who have been able to understand a great deal of this cube I am trying to follow. With my brush in hand I致e begun to paint the story of math as I hear it from my mentors. Some branches are small, scrawny twigs brittle at their ends. Some are strong, thick red connections pulling their way out into the unknown. Years have passed, they grow, but the progress is slow. A thick color is present on one quadrant of the cube. This is where I have put analysis I知 growning fond of living here. But these various categories of math, which at first seemed to go in such different directions, have appeared in each others realms. At first it seemed like magic, something surreal. I致e begun to realize there is another dimension to my cube, where these subjects intersect. Oh how vast it must be, to expand ones self in such a way. I find myself creeping into other sides, but with no foundation to support me I must watch my step. Always stumbling over loose stones I致e never bothered to sweep up, or obstructed by boulders that have previously been to large to lift. I find myself with new strengths, powerful tools at my disposal. But yet they are still too powerful, and I know not how to use them. A child with a shotgun I real back and am pushed into my steps. And still my attacks leave little damage, one needs to hold these things with a steadier hand. But still I stumble on, toes bloodied some, and I can tell you there have been some headaches along the way. On a seemingly daily basis discouragement haunts my soul. Idiocy, incompetence what ironic fate lead me here, to something I feel so incapable of doing? Is it love? Yes. Those days, rare as they are, where it all works oh those days. QED

In the middle of it all: It痴 so strange to be born into a world where you have absolutely no idea where you are, what you池e doing, or what the point of it all is. We池e aware of this vast universe around us, but we致e seen only a glimpse of it it痴 so big. I think the pursuit of physics and chemistry is the most important thing we can do. As a mathematician I feel I知 providing a foundation for the physicists and chemists to work on. In turn they are providing the information needed for Engineers to make useful things, tool we can use to understand our surroundings better. When you look at the world form the point of view of a blank slate, how are you supposed to figure anything out? This big hot thing moves across the sky every day, one finds they can both observe and interact with their surroundings. People die, life is hard, a constant struggle to satisfy oneself; whether it be to fill your stomach or to avoid boredom. Most of us have a desire to figure out what it痴 all about. Religion is so tempting. There痴 always and easy answer, 敵od did it. But it痴 just not good enough. This is simply pleading ignorance, allowing one痴 self to believe something because you池e too lazy to try and figure it out for yourself. I知 convinced that after I die no part of what I consider myself will continue to exist (except the impression I致e left on the world and the people in it etc). When my Dad dies he値l be gone, there痴 no hope that I値l see him again in the afterlife. But I suppose his ghost will still haunt my soul; I can only imagine the sorrow that I値l feel. Memories of happiness will bring great pain how ironic. QED